Packing up this place the last few days has me in my feels, as a lot of things do. I don't know if this only happens to me or what, but, I get really attached to places that I've lived... especially if I went through a lot of things in that place. Good and or bad. It's like, damn, you my ride or die. You gave me a place to lay my head when I was at my lowest, I fucks with you. Ya know, that type of bond. I guess because I am such a romantic, I see the love in everything that comes my way. Even, places I've lived. This apartment was me and Jeremy's first REAL apartment together. When we lived in New Orleans, it was a small little duplex barely able to house all three of us at the time, but we made it work and we made it special. I absolutely loved it. When we decided to move back to Texas, we found the cheapest-best apartment we could find that was in a good area so that my son would be able to go to a good school. And then came into our view, apartment 708. Seabrook has been well to us I should say. I mean, for majority of our time living here, we didn't have a well functioning car to be able to go many places. Things really were not the best at all in 2021 for us. As a matter of fact, 2021 was probably the worst year we had. But we went through it, right here, in 708. We spent so much time here, more time than we spent in the little pink duplex in New Orleans during COVID because when we lived in New Orleans, our car ran pretty good. We were all over the place and making sure we got out of the house and into some fresh air. But here, we were stuck most of the time. I worked from home from April 2021 until September 2021 when I got put on bed rest at the end of my maternity leave. Not to mention, we all had COVID in August and the entire month was a suck fest. I was pregnant and sick for more than 3 weeks. It was a nightmare. But I got through it, right here, in 708. There is something so comforting in a very odd way about places that I've lived where I dealt with a shit ton, but got through it. I can't explain the feeling. As much as I've yelled about wanting to leave this very apartment, now that it's happening, things are becoming really bitter sweet. My daughter came home to this very place once she was born. I spent my maternity leave pretty much confined to my room for 8 hours a day with the baby, because Jeremy was working from home and had to have it dead silent in the house. I watched hours of Japanese living on YouTube, I binged watched One Tree Hill for the millionth time. I took hour long mid day naps right along side my beautiful new born baby girl. I found some new Anime. I cried almost everyday because having a child with my middle school sweetheart was making me extremely emotional. I couldn't believe that we created a life and she was here. I battled with depression, I battled with my anxiety, not to mention dealing with all of that, while being sore and in pain from my C-section. Waking up countless times in the middle of the night with tears in my eyes. Making a bottle and rocking my sweet girl back to bed. Nothing made sense to me on a day to day. I cried, I laughed. I was ok... then I wasn't. I guess they call it Postpartum Depression. I didn't want to admit it at the time that, that's what I was going through, but as I am typing this blog post, I am realizing more and more that the PPD monster was on my back, hard. It wasn't fun at all. Everyday was a mental struggle for me during the first few months of my daughters life. It wasn't until I re-created this website that I found peace. I found hope. I found solace in my writing and I began to take my blog more seriously. I created a newsletter, I created this space for me to come and express myself. I created something beautiful, right here, in apartment 708, in Seabrook, by the water. I will hold my experiences here close to me, forever. Because here, was my second place of growth. Here, I found myself with my WRITING again. I can say, that the last two places I've lived, once I moved, I was not the same person I was when I stepped foot there. In New Orleans, I grew as a woman. I set free the things that were enabling me, and I let myself be on my own, for real. Just me, my child, and my man, in our little pink duplex. I finally became a woman. And here? I found myself, as a PERSON. I realized what I really wanted to do with my life and I gained control of the things that made me happy. I started writing again and I truly have found MYSELF as a person. I can say where I am at in my life with who I am, I am content with. Sure there are other things I am working on. But, I have made so much progress in myself over the last 2 years and it feels amazing. I am thankful for this apartment. Not being able to go many places. Not being able to get out and socialize. It made me have to sit in that room, alone, with my thoughts. I worked through that and created something amazing out of it, soulwritermarie.com.
New beginnings are always scary and challenging for me, but just as I've done all year, I am going to get through it. Cheers to my new beginning... Apartment 708, it's been real.
Thank you for reading.