Erotic Fridays *Make Sex Fun Again* | Learning Your Spouse + Incorporating Toys & Props into Your Sex Life

Welcome Welcome Welcome to Erotic Fridays. Every Friday in February we are going to be joining right here on my blog and talking about everything bedroom related. My saying is we keep it sexy, not raunchy. All the Erotic Fridays posts will be in PINK.
Let's dive right into the ocean shall we?
What does it mean to LEARN your partner? If you don't know what that means then baby, you are nottttt ready for sex. Look, let me be blunt, a lot of men and women don't take the time out to study their partner. If you aren't studying your partner in my opinion, how can you really say you love them? I'm just being real. You should know them inside, and out. Literally. There is nothing sexier than your partner knowing the curves in your body, knowing where to touch you to make your body quiver, hell, even knowing what look to give you to make you melt down to your knees. If you haven't studied your partner, get your notebooks out and dust them off. It's time to go back to school. You need to know your partner like nobody on this earth does. Once you know them like that, the power that you have is endless. I don't say power in a bad way, I say it in a very sexy and sexually pleasing way. YOU need to have the power to make them feel things nobody ever has. Watch the way they move. Watch their body language. Watch the way they readjust in their seats when you're saying something sexually pleasing to them from across the table. Watch the way their eyes surrender to you when you give them the look of seduction and pleasure just with a stare. Watch their body fall weak when you gently touch them. Learn them. Because sex is not just about the actual intercourse. There is so much that goes into it before you take it to that point. YOU AND YOUR PARTNER need to be so hot and ready when intercourse comes that you explode within minutes. Hell, sometimes seconds. Intercourse needs to be the last thing that happens. Unless it's a quickie. Quickies are fun, no doubt. But, there's nothing satisfying about a quickie being apart of your regular sex routine. I'm just saying what most women won't say. Quickies a lot of the time are merely for the pleasure of the man. Now, yall know me. I am the most un-3rd wave-feminist on this planet, if that's even a phrase. I am NOT feminist whatsoever. But, when it comes to sex? I am all about the woman. You know why? Because, most men get a lot of their sexual desires fulfilled every time they have sex. I am the type of woman that likes to take control sometimes. But, women need a lot of work most times to reach their climax unlike men. All men need to be is turned on and 95% of the time, they are going to climax. Okay, and what about us?! I can say the bedroom is where men and women can become really lazy. Let's not do that anymore. Laziness is not sexy. Now, am I saying you need to be up against the wall, getting rug burns, hanging from the ceiling? I mean, if all that is your thing, go for it! But, that isn't what I mean by not being lazy. I mean, work on your partner. Get them to that point of excited that they need to be. Send sexy texts throughout the day. Send pictures throughout the day. You don't work at home? Okayyyy hike that skirt up in the company bathroom and snap a pic. Pull the boxers to the side on your break in the car and snap a pic. I can promise you, even though they've seen it a million times, it will make them smile! Hands down! Send her some flowers randomly with a steamy note. WORK FOR YOUR PARTNER. You work for your boss right? You bust your ass for your kids right? You come running when family calls right? Oh, but your spouse they come last right? NO! They come first, especially if you're married. You need to make sure you are taking the time to make them feel special and wanted. You know she likes the room cleaned before sex? Clean the room. Light a candle while she's cooking dinner. You know he likes his feet rubbed after work and tacos on Tuesday? Do that. It be the little things. Make them feel good and get them relaxed.
Now, they're relaxed, the kids are sleep? It's time to do all those things yall was saying you was gone do when you get home while you were at work, LOL. Don't sleep on your spouse! Do what you said you was gone do.
Lets talk about the fun part, the toys. Ah, yes. Toys. Such a "dirty word" for a lot of people. Why? I don't know. Toys don't mean you're a weird super freak. Toys don't mean your man isn't doing his job. Toys make things fun. It's no secret that it takes a lot more work for women to reach their climax than it does for men. It's no secret and it's okay. But, with knowing that, we deserve that work to be put in. And even if the work is being put in without the toys, toys spice it up. One of the best things you can grab are "shaft" rings. I'm going to say shaft just for the hell of it LOL. No, but foreal. Shaft rings are awesome and you can get the vibrating ones. The vibrating rings can almost guarantee a climax out of her/you. Use props too if you don't already.
Blind fold him, drip him in caramel, and devour your favorite snack. Don't be afraid to let him tie you up, encourage it! Ask for it! Tell him, baby, take this, tie my hands, and don't untie it, even if I beg. LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Be vocal. Be likeeeeee, dadddddy!!!! Get the vibrator and oil, let's have fun. Tell him where you want it, how you want it. Life too short to be having boring sex. Tell her to get the caramel and strawberries. You HAVE to know, that when you're open and having fun, it really helps you and your partner reconnect. There's nothing more beautiful than a couple who desires each other and has fun inside and outside the bedroom. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using toys, studying your partner, sending sexy texts from the workplace, and trying new things. Tonight, try something new. If you don't have toys/like toys, that's cool. Tonight, do away with the 10 min missionary or reverse cowgirl and the roll over and go to bed routine. Get a few candles. Surprise your partner with a massage. Turn on some slow jams. I know 8/10 of you are not doing none of that right now. Or used to, and stopped. Lets literally get back up on the saddle and switch shit up. Try that caramel thing. It's messy, sticky, trust me, but, it will lead to a steamy shower together so it's worth it ;).

Join me back next Friday for more, we just barely scratched the surface.

Linked below are a few things I thought would be fun to read as well.

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g1022/aphrodisiac-foods-0509/?slide=1

https://www.bustle.com/p/5-mental-health-benefits-of-using-sex-toys-in-the-bedroom-13213875​
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