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The tears wouldn’t stop flowing as I reached the end of the hallway and around the corner. I cried so hard that my chest began to hurt. Everything was starting to hit me all at once. I was falling for Roger and I didn’t even know him. Some might say I’m dickmatized but it’s way more than that. The instant connection with him was so undeniable. He was just a real man and knew what he wanted and didn’t apologize for it. That shit is so sexy and it’ll make any woman that is of my standard fall quick. Then of course, tack on the pipe he laid on me. Lord, I don’t know how to act! Jaylen who, is how I felt at this moment. And feeling like that made me feel like shit. But fuck, he’s the one who cheated! And with my sister at that! Why do I feel bad for what I’m feeling for another man as a result of his actions. If he wasn’t being a slut, I would’ve never bumped into Roger.
This is his fault, I screamed!
I instantly regretted it, as once again, I was thinking out loud.
I smacked my lips and threw my hands over my face.
This is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t understand anything I’m feeling right now.
I pulled my phone out of my purse and prepared for the bull shit I was gonna see there. I had 20 missed calls from Jaylen, 10 texts, and 2 messages from my sister. How motherfucking odd! Why this bitch even think about texting me? I looked at my texts first before returning calls.
What do you know? These bitches already know I was there!
How in the world?!
Jaylen: Hailey is everything ok?!? I got home late from work and I noticed you hadn’t called at all.
Jaylen: Hailey what’s going on? I’m starting to get worried.
Jaylen: Hailey I don’t know what you know but I premise it’s not like that. The doorman told me he let you up. That explains the music and the candles. Hailey please call me back!
Jaylen: Hailey please baby. Please tell me everything's ok. I’m so sorry Hailey!
This bitch really is apologizing through a text message. He must’ve put two and two together. So much for me trying to get them back in the most iconic way. He knew I was there and at this point I’m not too worried about him knowing that I was there. So what. I don’t even care anymore I’m so numb to what he did. The biggest betrayal I could’ve ever dealt with. I was angry. I was sad. I was every emotion in the book. I can’t believe what is happening right now. How could this man do this to me. I am still wondering how I’m going to even get through this. I decided not to look at the rest of the texts yet or my sister's messages. I couldn’t handle it yet.
I began to sob even harder and realized it was time for me to get in the elevator and call an Uber.
Just as I was about to press the down button, I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I jolted and turned around quickly.
Oh my God, Roger! I screamed sniffing and trying to get my shit together, but clearly there wasn’t enough time.
He grabbed my hand.
Red, I could hear you crying all the way from my apartment. You think ima let you leave here like this? I can’t do it. Let’s go, come on, he said tugging my arm as I knew he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
I let him lead me back down to his door with my head hanging low not wanting to really show him how distraught I was, even though he already knew.
We arrived back at his apartment and he shut the door softly behind us. I put my purse down on the kitchen island and I leaned over it as I cried even harder. I cannot believe Jaylen betrayed me like this. This shit hurts.
As I was having a moment, Roger came up behind me and turned me around.
Baby girl, what’s going on, please tell me. It’s killing me to see you like this. I am not going to let you leave here distraught like this. Please talk to me. Seeing so much sadness on your work of art is displeasing.
His brown eyes were so warm, inviting, and graceful. He touched my face with his soft hands and it sent chills up my body.
So, I figured it was time to let him in on what was going on. Hell, why not? He’s already been everywhere else. I might as well get naked again in front of him, but in a different way.
Okay… I said very sadly.
Come on baby, come sit by the windows. The view of the city is amazing. I’ll get you some coffee.
You look like a creamer only girl, am I right?
I wiped the tears from my eyes and nodded. Yes actually, flavored creamer, no sugar, please.
Damn. How does this man know me so well? It’s starting to get a little scary.
You know what I like without me having to even tell you... damn, Roger, have we met before? I said actually really wondering that, but in a sarcastic tone.
He flashed that beautiful charismatic smile as he was adding the creamer to my coffee and said, maybe in the past life, Red.
He walked over, handed me my coffee, and sat on the other end of the room in the giant recliner that looked extremely comfortable.
The sun was really starting to come up and I could see the entire city from his apartment window. It was breathtaking.
As I took a sip of my coffee, I looked up and found Roger admiring me in the best way.
I started to blush and buried my face into the cup of coffee to try and hide my nervousness.
He began to laugh and said, you be killin' me Red. You know I can see you blushing from over here right?
I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
Man, Roger, what Ima do with you?
Roger then gave me a look of concern and said, are you ready to talk yet? In the deepest tone, and man, I could not contain my sexual thoughts being in the presence of this king. His voice, his body, his energy was pulling me in and drawing me closer like a magnet.
I knew it was about that time to let Roger in on what was going on. I mean, I haven't known this man any longer than a day, and I already felt like he deserved to know everything going on in my mind. The way he explored my insides made me feel like it was time for him to explore other places, my thoughts for a change.
I took a long sip of my coffee and sighed. Man, where do I even begin? I said.
Baby girl, we have all day. The only thing that matters to me right now is making sure you are ok. If we have to talk all day, that's what we will have to do. I have nothing but time. Please don't even ask me why I care the way I do... I just do.
He looked at me, in my eyes, but then quickly turned away and said, okay beautiful, lay it on me.
I've noticed since last night, he will look at me in my eyes, but he always looks away after a while, as if looking at me made him feel something.
I took another sip of my coffee and said, before I dive into my story, can I ask why you have a hard time looking at me in my eyes for a long period of time?
I took another sip, feeling good that I was bold enough to ask, waiting for his response to me.
He smiled, decided to look me in my eyes this time and not take his eyes off me, and said, Red, there's something about you. There's something about your eyes... If I look too long, something inside me starts to feel a type of way. I am trying not to fall for you... I haven't even known you long enough for all that. But, there is just something about you that draws me in. Like quicksand..
He sounded so sincere and truly on the worried side, as if he was afraid to fall for me. As if, maybe, there was someone else? I tried not to read too much into it, and I just basked in the feeling that this man adored the fuck out of me. To be honest, I was ok with it.
I nodded, okay, okay, Roger. Opening your heart up, I see you.
He readjusted himself in his recliner in the slowest way and he... did not... take... his... eyes... off..... of me.
I started to feel the puddle of desire making herself known again and so I decided to quickly change the subject.
So, let me make a long story short. I cleared my throat and braced myself. For some reason, I thought that I was not going to get emotional. I felt like I was going to be okay when I explained what really happened. But, that was absolutely not the case.
I started tearing up before I was even able to begin to tell Roger what was happening. I think he could see my face starting to get flustered because as soon as I began to start telling him what had happened, I just couldn't contain my tears.
Roger... I said with the sound of a dying animal, my.......my boyfriend.
I caught him... fucking my sister, right before you and I bumped into each other!!! I screamed and let out the loudest cry. I could not contain my hurt. I could not contain my pain. I had to let it out. Here was this man, who was HERE for me. I could feel it. All he wanted was to make sure that I was o.k. Never mind the good pipe he laid down on me last night. He genuinely cared about my feelings.
The look on Roger's face when I said what Jaylen had done was one for the records. I had never seen more sadness and anger in a person who barely knew me.
He squinted his eyes, tilted his head to the side, and sighed heavily.
Wait a second, baby, wait a mother-fucking-second, are you telling me.... this man, that had the pleasure of being your man, decided to cheat on you, with your sister? Is this what you're telling me right now?
The way he asked me instantly made me feel like I was not alone in how scandalous this sounded and how even I was still surprised.
I busted into tears and threw my hands into my palms as I couldn't contain my tears in front of Roger any longer.
Roger let out another heavy sigh and said, HELL. NO. Fuck that, Red. Come on.
Come on? I said in my head. Is he kicking me out? He kicking me out huh? This was too much for him; he couldn't handle my drama.
I cried even harder as I truly thought that this was the last conversation I probably was going to have with this man. Until I realized the look on his face when he was standing before me, holding his hand out.
Come on, Red. Let's go, right now. You have not done anything wrong. Now that I know what's really going on, I just need you to come with me right now. That nigga let this fine woman like you be left in the dark? Cheated on? Vulnerable? Hell no. Let me tell you something. I don't know where your mind is at, but, I'm telling you right now, that man isn't getting you back. He done fucked up, because just like last night, I'm about to have you all over my beard.
So, come on, let's go.
I was shocked. I had no idea really what to even say. I wiped my tears quickly because babbbby, this man right here? Was coming to sweep me off my feet, and to be honest, I was going to let him! I was going to let him into every part of me because the urge to allow him into my mind and heart was too strong. I tried to fight it, but I lost every time. Something about him was making me crazy, but not in a bad way. It was that once in a lifetime connection you make with somebody that you cherish forever. And after everything I had been through? Whatever Roger wanted, he was about to get.
He grabbed my hand, and led me into his bathroom. As we walked, he just shook his head, and seemed so determined.
Alexa, play In the Morning by J.Cole. The slowed edition, he said as he turned on the shower. I started to get flashbacks from the night before and I instantly began to feel the puddle in between my legs become present again, but instead of puddling, it just dripped slowly down my legs. Just as slow as the song that began to play from the speakers.
Roger, really... it's o-
Shhhh... Shhhh, Red, just please. Don't say anything right now. All I need you to do... is be quiet. Let me. Allow me, he said in a manly tone. Whatever Roger told me, that's what my body and heart desired to do. I am still trying to figure it out myself, it made no sense to feel this way about someone who hadn't been in my life long at all.
The shower ran and the bathroom got extremely steamy. Something inside of me just absolutely surrendered to this man, again. My legs were wet from the steam and the juices that were inside of me crying out, begging to be noticed by him.
Red, just... let me take the pain away, he said as he slipped off the dress that still lingered of the café and paninis.
He had a tear in his eye. I probably will never know why, but in this beautiful moment, I wasn't about to question it.
I nodded my head and as soon as I did that, Roger picked me up with both hands and walked with me in the shower. I was pulsating at this point. I wanted him more at this moment than I did the night before. It was like he truly wanted to save me from the pain that I endured last night..
I was going to let him.
He pushed me up against the shower wall and looked me dead in my eyes, and said, Hailey, babygirl, let me numb the pain.
He began to kiss me passionately and our tongues interlocked in the best way. My pleasure juices were running alongside the water from the shower head and I couldn't tell which was what, but all I knew was that I was hot and bothered in all of the right ways.
Roger began to kiss every inch of my red body in that steamy hot shower with the sound of J Cole and Drake in the distance. He kissed my entire body slowly and worked his way down. From my chin, to my neck, to my chest, to my arms, down my stomach, and working his way even closer to the promise land, once again. My body began to quiver because I already knew the type of time this man was on. I knew he was about to make me explode like he neve failed to do.
The minute his lips met her, again, my soul woke up. I don't recognize the feeling I felt, but it was way deeper than whatever I felt last night.
The music, the hot water, this beautiful chocolate man right under me, everything was playing a part in how deep and intense I was feeling in this moment.
He began to kiss her lightly, and once he could feel my legs shaking from pure pleasure, he looked up at me with those warm brown eyes, and grinned. He gripped my waist so tight I thought he was going to break me. He buried his face inside my second pair of lips and made me gasp for air as if I was taking my last breath.
I couldn't believe the amount of pressure this man was applying to my work of art. His tongue pressed against my garden so hard, but not in a painful way. It was the best amount of pressure I could've ever received in a moment like this. I pushed the wet curly hair out of my face and gripped the back of his head so he could feel the physical presence. The way this was going for us, seemed like it was straight out of a movie that was attempting to help you understand outer body experiences. Nothing about being with this dude felt of this world. It felt as if I was flying my own private jet, with the passenger as the perfect man.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head, knowing that I was seconds away from cumming in the hardest way... this felt so good I couldn't hold my thoughts together. His tongue knew exactly what it was doing and had a mind of its own. It was like he was no longer controlling the ride, but his mouth was. He sucked the juices off of every inch of my cupcake and inner thighs until I began to scream with satisfaction. I bit my lip continuously as I could feel myself about to climax, just as fast as I could feel myself about to think out loud.
Everything was feeling so good at this moment, my body was shaking, my head was spinning and Roger was pleasuring me in the BEST, WORST, way and just as I was about to climax...
Yes, I thought out loud
As I grabbed his head and screamed his name, and opened my heart all at the same time, the scream of his name was followed by,
Fuck!!! I love you, Roger.
Something I wasn't meaning to say. As I realized I was thinking aloud again,
stopped what he was doing,
and his very curious eyes met mind with questions written all over them.