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Watching my sister ride the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with was the most excruciating shit I've ever felt in life.
Sure, it could be because he was the only man I've ever made love to. Or it could just be because this was the first time I was ever really in love.
I've had boyfriends here and there, but I've always been self focused. I never really allowed a man into my heart like this. Never gave a man the ability to knock me off focus.
Now here I am, the most unfocused I've ever been and he hurts me like this.
My first mind was to beat the dog shit out of her right there in that moment. But, something in that moment just came over me. A voice told me, wait.
No, not wait because she's my sister and I really didn't want to hurt her, wait because acting now, can give me an even bigger loss than what's already in the wind. If I wanted a real win, I had to keep calm and plan an attack back. The two people I care about the most betraying me in front of my eyes? Hell no. There's no way I was going to let that slide. But, the bigger reward for me, was going to be to see the look on their faces when everything hits the fan for them. I had a few months until I was supposed to move back. I had time to really plan a get back for their asses. I wasn't about to let her or him see me in my worst moment. They didn't deserve it. I needed to mourn the loss of two people. They both are dead to me, but before I could break down completely, I needed to get the hell out of here without being noticed. I knew that once I left, and he went into his room, he'd see that I was there. I knew leaving everything the way I set it up would make him sweat in his boots when he finally decides to call me, and that's what I wanted. There's no way he'd know that I saw anything. I'm sure a million different scenarios are going to run through his mind. But, I am going to play it cool. I was going to have to come up with a lie.
They were still going hot and heavy even with my presence being so close. His eyes were closed as he moaned as if they were the only two souls on this planet. I walked in a backward motion extremely slow.
Hell, it's not like they'd hear me anyway. They were being extremely loud and so I had time to slip back into his room and leave out of the silent emergency door.
These apartments were extremely modern and were built for high level single people. Every master bedroom has a silent emergency door in case some how, some way, a criminal was able to slip past the door man and break into your home. There's a button right outside the door that you're supposed to press before you walk out to alert the authorities. But, obviously I wasn't going to do that. Although, trust me, I was tempted just to ruin those sleezebags' night.
Once I was able to slip back into the room, I could still hear them going on and on. I tried to tune out the noise as I quickly slipped my black dress back over my lingerie, tied up my curly hair, grabbed my heels, purse, and jetted out the emergency door.
It was a beautiful night and the moon lit up the night sky in such a way that the city lights were jealous. Nothing was more pretty and bright as the moonlit sky that night. There were people walking hand in hand down the sidewalk, cars were passing, music could be heard from all directions as night time in the city was a time to be out and enjoying good drinks and music at little bars and restaurants downtown. The sound of the city was loud enough to cover up the Amtrak train speed of thoughts that were rushing through my mind. I'm sure the pavement underneath me was wondering what the hell was wrong with me. My tears hit the ground more than the amount of steps I was taking. I didn't know where I was going. All I knew was that my life changed completely as of ten minutes ago and I needed the worlds strongest drink. Everywhere I looked there seemed to be people in love going into every bar and food place that night. The last thing I wanted to do was sit in a romantic setting.
Goodness, can't a girl find a bar with people who aren't on dates?! I shouted out loud.
I stopped in my tracks and my eyes widened as I instantly regretted my outburst. I've been talking to myself in my head so much in the past five minutes I swore that was meant to stay in and not out. I looked around and realized no one heard me. Or at least, they acted as if they didn't. Everyone was just going on their merry way.
Great, I'm not even recognized when I'm being a crazy person and talking to myself, I said as I rolled my eyes at the couples sitting on the corner sharing drinks and dessert at the cute little "Sweets & Sip" pastry and wine café on the corner. I loved that place. We used to go there all the time, me and Jaylen. It was one of our favorite spots.
Goodness, why am I even thinking about this son-of-a-bitch?!
I reached into my purse and grabbed a cigarette out of my black and blue Camel Crush carton. I only smoke when I am drinking or very stressed. So, I figured this was the time to pull one out.
I looked both ways before crossing as I lit my cigarette and did a light jog before cars started to go. Even though the tears were starting to dry up, my face and eyes were extremely puffy. I could feel it without even looking at myself. Just the thought of how I must look right now with mascara all over my face made me cry even more.
I'm so fucking pathetic, I thought to myself. Why am I allowing these bastards to have me like this!?! I should be angry, not crying. Right!?? Right!?
I waited for myself to answer myself and realized instantly that I was going a little crazy. It was time for a drink and food, immediately.
I took another long drag of my cigarette and got distracted by an outburst of laughter I heard across the street. A bunch of teenage kids on skateboards were horsing around and having fun. It made me crack a small smile as I thought about what it was like to be a kid. Man, I wish I could go back.
I continued to walk as I watched the kids have the time of their lives and bumped into a man almost burning a hole in the both of us....
WOAH. I am so sorry! I screamed. My cigarette fell to the ground and put itself out.
I dusted off my dress to make sure it wasn't ruined and looked up.
Oh, miss. It's okay. Are you alright? I am about a foot and a half taller than you, he said with grin and chuckled.
I smiled and said, yes yes I am fine. Thanks.
I quickly started to wipe my face as I didn't want this man to see me with mascara all over me looking like something from out of the circus.
Once I was able to get the last two tears out of my eyes that were blurring my vision, I took a second look.
My goodness. God, are you playing games with me today? I said to myself as I starred at this beautiful chocolate man in front of me. He had to be about 6'2. He smelled, so amazing and he had on some black joggers, a black hoodie, a white and black hat, and black Nike running shoes.
Miss, he said. Are you sure you're ok?
His words instantly broke my awkward silence and stare.
I blinked three times and shook my head, yes, yes I am ok. I promise. Sorry to bump into you like that. I wasn't really paying much attention, I said.
Yeah, I can tell, he said and laughed as he winked his eye at me.
He pulled a Kleenex out of his his pocket and handed it to me. Here you go, love. Looks like you might need one of these.
Now, who starts breaking down in front of strangers like a dumbass? Me. That's who.
Oh wait, no no... I'm sorry. I really didn't meant to stir up any emotions. I just seen you kind of had a little makeup running down your face and figured I'd lend a helping hand, he said sweetly.
Here... can I? He said with the motion of wanting to help me wipe all of the sorrow off of my face.
I nodded and allowed him.
His hands were extremely soft and it sent chills down my body the minute he touched me.
I jolted a little the very moment his skin touched mine.
It's okay, I won't bite, he said and laughed.
I like your sense of humor, I needed that tonight. I said in a somber tone.
You know, this may seem really straight forward, but, I just left the gym and I was heading to get something to eat. It seems like you've had a long night. I don't want to leave a beautiful woman all alone at night in this city crying and vulnerable. I'd worry about you all night.. he said in a very serious tone.
Damn, I said. You might be one of the only real gentlemen left. You know what? I could go for some food and a drink. Tonight has been the worst night of my existence, up until two minutes ago.
I looked up at him and waited for him to flash those beautiful white teeth at me.
Okay, come on we can walk toget-
His sentence was rudely interrupted by the ringtone of my phone that was incredibly loud.
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry give me one second, I said.
I fumbled in my purse for my phone and the look of disappointment was so evident, everyone who was in any proximity of us could feel it.
The caller ID read "Jaylen" and baby I was NOT about to answer that. I quickly sent it to voicemail, turned my ringer off, and threw my phone back into my purse and zipped it.
Sorry about that, I said nervously.
Oh no, that's all good. Come on, lets go. I know this great place just a block up ahead.
We began walking and he nudged me to the side and made sure I was not walking on the side where the cars were passing.
Sorry, he said. It's just a habit.
Oh, no need to be sorry at all, I said in a soft tone as I sniffled, still crying from the night I've had. We walked in silence together and the only sound was that of the beautiful city noises that I love and our footsteps on the pavement.
We arrived at a little café at a corner closer to the front of the city square. It was all brick with cute little seating areas outside and light playing saxophone music that could only be heard by the people that chose to eat there that night. There were beautiful fresh flower arrangements on the sides of every table. The tables were nice and square to fit a full course meal and not just a cup of coffee and a muffin. I loved cafes that served food other than pastries and salads. Something very romantic and pleasing about eating real food at a café where you only expect to get a warm drink and a pastry. My night was starting to get a little bit better.
Come on, we can sit right over here. It's my favorite table. I can see the whole downtown from here, he said seeming very mesmerized as if it were his first time here.
I went to grab my chair and he jetted in front of me and grabbed it for me.
Ladies don't touch doors or chairs around me, baby girl, he said in a way that he knew would make me feel warm inside.
Was he just being nice because he saw me crying? Or is this man really a gentlemen like this!? I said to myself, making sure I didn't have another embarrassing loud outburst and ruin the rest of my night.
Thank you so much... I said with a smile.
I could feel my phone vibrating in my purse, but I dared not to even look at it.
What would you like to drink? They have all the good stuff here, my favorite is champagne though. Do you like champagne?
Baby, I will drink anything that has alcohol content in it right about now, I said as I shook my head.
Alright then, a bottle of Rose Moet coming right up.
He began to walk away and I said, wait... the waiters don't come to us?
They could, but, why wait when I can just go grab it myself?
I paused, squinted my eyes and cocked my head to the side a little.
He chuckled, I own this little café baby doll. I eat here every night after my workout and make sure my workers are doing their jobs, but, I don't hover. I love to spend my time in a place I built from the ground up, you know?
I was shocked. My mouth hit the floor as I was taken a back by it all.
Oh...oh wow. That...that's amazing. I am so sorry, do your thang don't let me stop you, I said and pushed my curly hair out of my face.
He built this place? Wow.. I said quietly as I began to really take mental pictures of the beautiful place that I had the pleasure of being in. I'd never been out on a date with a complete stranger. I started to wonder what the heck I was doing. Then I thought, I never gave myself time to date around. I got into a real relationship for the first time just two years ago without even testing other waters. Maybe that was my mistake. Tonight, I am not letting anything stop me from doing what feels right.
I bumped into this man for a reason. He doesn't seem like a creep. Hell, whatever he's selling tonight, I am buying. No regrets.
Three minutes went by and he came back to the table with the Moet, and a tray full of what looked like an assortment of paninis and fresh sweet potato fries.
Oh wow, so you cook too? I said as if I was not surprised, but still in complete shock that this man even invited me out to eat.
He laughed, yeah, I do, however, these were made by one of the cooks. They know what I like to eat after a workout. I figured you'd like paninis too, so I made sure to get a few of all of the ones we make. There are plenty of other things on the menu if you'd like. Whatever you want, it's yours, he said seductively.
Oh, these will do just fine. After the night I've had, I don't have the stomach for a huge meal. Thank you so much, again. I really didn't mean to bombard your night.
Bombard? You didn't bombard me, I asked you to dinner, remember? He said.
I quickly became flushed and red with embarrassment.
I cleared my throat nervously... you're.. you're right. Sorry.
He popped open the Moet and poured it into our glasses that he brought with the tray.
Baby girl, please stop saying sorry. Now, before we dig into this we didn't even exchange names. My name is Roger, but everybody calls me Roe, he said as he took a bite of one of the tomato, basil, and chicken paninis.
I'm Hailey... and everyone calls me Hailey. I said with a grin. Where are you from?
Well, I'm 40, from Detroit, however, I moved here due to some complications back home about five years ago. I always wanted to own a café in Dallas. I've always loved Texas. So, once I made it here, I followed all of the dreams I've always had. Finished my business degree and got a loan to get this place. It looked nothing like this when I first got it. I remodeled everything by myself considering I was a loner when I got here. No friends. No family. It was rough, but, I got through it.
What about you, you from here or? He said as he sipped the pretty pink bubbly in his glass.
I picked up mine and took a few big gulps, and let out a sigh.
Well, I said as I cleared my throat. I'm 27. I know, I'm young. And, yes. I am from here. But, I currently live in Oregon. I'm a project manager for a Pacific Northwest company. We finally closed some big deals and now we are going to be opening up a company right here in Dallas pretty soon. So, I have plans on actually moving back.
Young? Maybe. But, nothing about you screams young and dumb. But, wow, that's amazing. Are you excited to move back?
I was.. but, there are some things that are making me question whether I want to move back now. I'd rather not discuss it at this moment if you don't mind. I'd like to just drink this champagne, enjoy this food and soak up this great time I am having with a nice gentlemen. I took a bite of one of the paninis and my eyes widened with amazement.
Wow. Now that, is a panini right there I said covering my mouth as I tried to eat as lady like as possible.
Oh yeah, that's a crowd favorite. It's spicy rosemary chicken, tomato, and goat cheese, he said. Simple, but very flavorful and juicy.
I could feel cheese on the side of my face and grabbed a napkin to wipe it off, but just as I reached for the napkin, he was already leaning over with his. He gently wiped the side of my mouth and sat back down, not taking his eyes off of me whatsoever.
So, that's the second time tonight you've had to save my face from embarrassment, I said as I laughed awkwardly. I cleared my throat and finished off my glass of Moet.
You like the champagne? I usually drink the regular, but figured I'd bring out the Rose flavor for the beautiful lady, he said.
You know, I know I don't know you, but your spirit just seems so familiar. This may sound crazy, but I really am enjoying my time with you Hailey. I'd like to do this again if that would be ok.. unless... there's a Mr? He said looking as if the fate of the world depended on my response.
It's complicated, Roger. It really is. But, If I'm being honest, I'd actually enjoy doing this again too. We both sat back in our chairs staring at each other with looks that were asking all the questions that neither one of us were ready to answer. I am sure both of us were a little shocked that this night went this way it did. I mean, he was heading for food after the gym, and I was heading into a dark hole.
But, somehow, it led to this moment.
Laughter filled the air from all of the tables. The later it got, the more crowded it got. The saxophone music was still playing, but it got louder to overcome the noise of the people enjoying themselves. Roger and I finished two bottles of champagne and the entire tray of paninis. It seemed like we were sitting there for hours just laughing and talking and getting to know each other. I just met this guy, but wow, he really got me out of my shell within a few hours. I've never had this much fun with a stranger. So this is what I've been missing out on for years? Just the ability to meet other people and have casual dates? I was really enjoying myself. The more we talked, the more I was picturing myself ending this night on top of him. It sounded crazy in my head because I wasn't that type of girl. But, after the night I've had, I was down for whatever, however. I deserved to do whatever it was I wanted to do.
The music was going and going and Roger got up from out of his seat and came over to me. He put his hand out and smiled.
Dance with me, baby girl, he said with an extremely tipsy tone.
I took him up on the offer and we began to dance right there next to our table and didn't care who was watching.
He pulled me close and whispered in my ear, I know we just met, but Hailey, you are such a beautiful soul. Thank you for running into me. It's been a while... he said as he pulled back and starred at me in my eyes.
The string lights that were hanging above us gave me enough light to see how beautiful his eyes were now that we were standing up and focused on each other instead of drinks and food. Dark brown eyes, but in the light, they had a sparkle. Now, this could be because I am on the verge of drunk and everything looks better when you're drunk, or it could really be that his eyes had a sparkle.
Either way, I didn't care. I went in for the kill.
I could feel literal sparks in my body as we kissed. I was surprised he kissed me back. We continued to dance to the rhythm of the saxophone as we partook in the most sensual kiss I've had in a very, very long time. He put his hands around my waist and clenched on to my body, pulling me closer to him. I flipped his hat to the back as we were still stuck together like magnets, engaging in a kiss that was singing to the tune of the music behind us.
He pulled back and gave me the look. I nodded my head and bit my lip. All of my insides were screaming, yes, YEEESSS.
Next thing you know, we are crashing through the door of his apartment across the street from the restaurant. He dropped his keys on the floor, took his hoodie off and picked me up as if I weighed nothing to him. Our bodies were sweaty, but we didn't care. He rubbed my body in every place he knew would make me quiver and weak in my knees. He walked with me in his arms to the bathroom and sat me down on the marble counter. He kissed my forehead, stood back, and turned the shower on. The shower head was made in a way that it made the water seem as if rain was coming down. He began undressing and got down to his boxers. I really couldn't believe my eyes, but I tried not to make it seem noticeable that I had only ever slept with one man in my entire 27 years on this earth.
He bit his lip and said, come on, baby girl, join me.
He slipped his Ralph Lauren boxers off and I couldn't help myself, my mouth hit the floor. If I wasn't wet enough already with all of the sexual desires I've ever had bottled up ready to explode, seeing his third leg, did it. I exploded. I had to have him.
I took my black dress off and the lingerie that showed itself made him look at me with amazement. I'm sure he was wondering how I was already dressed for the occasion, but there was too much sexual tension built up for him to ask the unwanted question.
Goddamn, girl. You are the sexiest thing I've ever had in this here apartment, he said looking me up and down drooling as if I was one of the pastries at his café. I went to unhook the lace bra when he said,
No, no.. leave that on. It's sexy as shit.
He lifted me off of the counter and we indulged in another very long, very wet, very intoxicating and satisfying kiss. He stepped in and immediately put our bodies underneath the rain shower. The water was steaming, but we didn't care. He pressed my body up against the wall of the shower with one hand, and slid his fingers into the promise land.
I closed my eyes and bit my lip as hard as I could. He kissed my neck and my chest as he continued to search for the endless possibilities inside me. I hadn't felt this good in so long. This was new, this was fresh and I loved every minute of being in this shower with this man who I don't know from Adam and Eve. The scandal of it all made it feel even better. Yeah, I know, I had "a man". But that man betrayed me. And even though it still seems wrong that I am here, right now, It feels so right.
He reached every spot that made me quiver and moan louder. Nothing was going to hold me back from the euphoric explosion of a climax that was about to take place.
I leaned over as he continued with his slow in and out motions. I bit his ear seductively and whispered, "I'm cumming, I'm cumming.". My body began to shake and my head tilted back as I clenched onto his thick, wet body and held on for dear life. He kissed me passionately, leaned back, and smiled. He continued to rub my body underneath the water and got me aroused all over again. I could tell he was waiting patiently for his turn, but he wanted to make sure I was taken care of. Even though, his buddy down there seemed as if he was ready for a few wild rides tonight. He lifted me higher and threw my body across his shoulders.
I chuckled a little bit as I was still wondering how the hell I was even here. He flung me over his shoulder as if I was a towel after a hard workout. I loved being handled like this.
He walked into the master suite that was only lit up by the city lights that came into the big bay window.
He laid me down on his bed gently and unstrapped the part of my lingerie that covered my cupcake. Then, he reached into his dresser drawer and pulled out the gold foil pack and opened it.
He looked at me in my face with soft eyes, but a manly stance, and asked me...
You ready, baby girl?
To be continued....
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