Let’s start this off by saying that this post is about my relationship, my experience & how I feel about certain things. There’s things I will mention that I’d rather keep for the people who have access to this sugar & spice page ❤️🤪. So let’s get into it!
Going back to my very first post on this page about me being turned on & okay with my man sleeping around. This is something that I feel like a lot of women won’t admit that they are okay with, understandably so. My argument with this is, why are we so quick to forgive when our man cheats? SOME OF US. Why are we so protective of our men but then let them back in so fast after being with another woman? To a certain extent, we get off on women wanting what we have. At least I do and I know other women who do so if this don’t apply let it fly. But, to a certain degree it’s exhilarating to know that another woman wants what we have. For me, it goes far beyond that. I’ve said so many times that I’ve fought the kink that I have wanting my man to have sexual freedom & then tell me about it. *shrugs* call me crazy or dumb or whatever but it’s just what I like. There’s something very sexually arousing to know that my man can please another woman sexually purely for pleasure and nothing more. The feeling I got when I was reading a message between him and a girl that insinuated that they had sex gave me an adrenaline rush. I was very confused at first with what I was feeling. I felt betrayed in a sense only because at the time, I had not established with him that I was ok with him having sex with other women. So, for him not to know that at the time, I was upset. But the other feeling I got was goddamn I’m so turned on and I wanna fuck. Like….. right now.
At first, I didn’t like that feeling so I suppressed it. I did that because a one-sided open relationship was something I wasn’t ready for until I truly knew that what we had was solid. I needed to know that this man loves me, wants to marry me, and is committed to ME in the relationship sense.
Here’s the thing, to me, dick is dick. Just like pussy is pussy. You can find that shit around the corner. What you can’t find around the corner though, is me. I am a rare breed and I am what a lot of men are looking for. That’s not me being cocky, but that’s me being truly honest with myself. I am so secure in who I am and confident in a way that I’ve never been before in past years. So yes, I am ok with my man having a sexual thing with another woman as long as he isn’t giving away my time and he isn’t putting her before me. Don’t make me look stupid in public, don’t make another woman feel like she can take my place, etc. Obviously there’s boundaries. Like no, you don’t have two girlfriends. But, you have the freedom to be a sexual butterfly for your pleasure but especially mine.
My thing is, if you’re going to allow your man to cheat on you then why not suggest an open relationship? If youre going to be insecure then why are you in a relationship at all? I’m not taking jabs at anybody I’m just saying If you require your man to be faithful then you need to stand on that and only that. But to allow him to fuck around and hurt you but you keep taking him back I mean clearly you like that shit to some extent and that’s just my take on it.
So, since I like that shit LOL, I’ve opened his side of this relationship with boundaries. I’m so much happier that I stopped caring about being “normal” and what defines a “normal relationship”. None of our relationships are normal if you ask me. We all do shit we are afraid to admit we all like things that we are ashamed of. This is one of those things that I used to be ashamed of but now I could care less about.
What I am protective over is his intelligence and intellectual stimulation. His intellectual stimulation can make me bust a nut on its own. Without him even having to touch me. He makes love to my brain in such a way that it drives me crazy and I could not allow another woman to experience that part of him on a regular. That part of him is for me and me only.
We have to really ask ourselves what about our relationships makes us tick. We have to start being honest with each other about what we are really protective over and what we aren’t. We like to lie to ourselves because it’s more comfortable. Like, is it really because he cheated or is it because he was showing her attention and giving her time that he should’ve been giving you? We have to break these things down to understand how we are hard wired.
I could care less that he fucked her, but I hated the fact that she was interested in his intellect. So I had to be honest with my true feelings. You need to ask yourself what it is you really get upset about and break that shit down otherwise, you will end up unhappy and allowing things you don’t want to allow.
Most of us women are ok with our man sleeping around. Most of us even initiate threesomes too. I’m not big on threesomes although I love women too. I just want to watch for my own sexual pleasure, but that’s just me.
If you are honest with your woman from jump like say look, I’m a hoe. I like to fuck around, but I only want you as my woman. I’d never make any of these bitches my lady, I bet you’d get a lot more success out of your relationship. I mean, shit, If he told me that I would be so turned on I can’t even tell you. LOL.
I mean he did, but not in that way. He basically admitted that he has a problem with fucking around sometimes and I had to admit that deep down I wanted him to. I wasn’t as mad as I claimed and I was just putting on a front, when in reality, we both should’ve been honest from the jump. But as I said, I can’t have that type of relationship without knowing where we stand and without feeling secure first.
There’s so many women that I know for a fact want my dude, but they wouldn’t last two weeks. He’s so complicated in the best way and he can be extremely difficult sometimes but it’s okay because I know how to handle him. I know how to handle everything he comes with and he admires me for that. He loves me and everything about me and he wants me to be his wife. That’s all I needed to unlock the one-sided open relationship with him. But the only way to know truly that your man only wants a committed relationship with just you, you can’t tell him up front that you are cool with that sexual butterfly shit because it causes problems in the beginning. He can’t know that you like that because then the committed part may not only take longer, but it may never come. I had to test him. I had to make sure he only wanted ME. Yes he fucked up twice in 3 years, but that’s way less than what I’ve had before let me tell you. I started to see him really open up and love me for me and appreciate my growth as a woman. We are finally in a place in our lives where we both know what and who we want. But, I don’t want to rob him of a good time every now and again. I don’t want to rob him of sexual experiences and make him feel trapped as if I’m the only woman he’s ever allowed to have sex with again. Him having his freedom to do him turns me the fuck on like a light switch. We are a perfect match. ❤️
Just thought I’d bring a little perspective from the woman’s side when it came to nonmonogomy.
I’m down for it!
Open relationships >>> polygamy. I’m not with that polygamy shit I’d kill somebody. There’s a big difference and I think people get the two misconstrued. I’d also like to add that this isn’t something that I would want to bring into my marriage and my man feels the same way. So we are having our fun while we are unmarried and that is absolutely okay.
Thanks for reading!
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