Well, hello there readers. It has been a little while hasn't it? Yeah, I know. It's been a crazy last few months. How have yall been? I am interested to hear how everyone's year has been going so far and your relationships if you're in one! You can comment down below anything you'd like to share and I would be honored to read it. Let's dive right in shall we? Oh yeah, make sure you have your beverage of choice that makes you feel good. Take a second, grab that, and continue to read. :)
Alright, got 'ya drink? Great.
So, let's talk.
I am pretty sure that majority of us are all well aware that we are not living in the 50's and 60's anymore. Meaning, prices of things today have tripled and quadrupled even. It's truly not ideal for a household to be a one income household, at least not right now. I mean you would be really pushing the limit if you are trying to survive on a one income house hold in today's times. What does that mean? Well, that means that in majority of relationships right now, both people are working and trying to provide for their families. Two people working, taking care of home, trying to get alone time for themselves, trying to get alone time together, take care of kids, and trying to squeeze in some social events at the same time, whew, makes me tired just thinking about it. With all of the everyday things we have going on, it is hard to balance it all. From experience and things that I've seen, a lot of the times our relationship gets put on the back burner. We end up putting our relationship on auto pilot while making sure everything else in our lives is in order. We will please our boss before we please our spouse. We will work overtime for extra money to be able to do things, but we won't put in the over time in our relationship. But then, we expect our relationships to just work. We expect our partner to not feel "neglected" just because we come home every night or we get in the bed at the same time. We expect our partner to feel as if they are important because we've sent a few texts throughout the day about things that probably don't even matter or pertain to their relationship. How can we expect good to come from the bare minimum?
What we need to do is understand BALANCE. Balance is the most important thing because once you've mastered balance, you can pretty much do anything you set your mind to. I am sure if you're reading this you are not only the victim of, but also guilty of being put on the back burner in your relationship or putting your spouse on the back burner. I'm not going to say it's okay, but it happens. We are human and we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget about the one person that we probably would go crazy without. Isn't that weird? So, take out a pen and paper because I am going to share a few things that I do in my relationship to keep the fire going and make sure that we both feel like we are being appreciated in our relationship and love language.
Balancing work and life is already a task, tack on the relationship and things get hectic. So, sit down with your partner today or whenever you have some free time and have a conversation. If you're noticing that things aren't going so well in your relationship or if you feel neglected, it's time to talk. Even if you don't feel this way, your partner could and maybe they aren't expressing it. It is important to know how your partner is feeling on a regular basis so conversations are important.
Have a talk about your work schedules or plans you may have coming up that month and plan some dates around that or time alone together. Not only just plan a night out or a night together, but start incorporating times everyday where you spend time together alone. Even if it's 10 minutes because work is so crazy.
Plan a date night every month. I say every month because depending on baby sitting situations, financial situations, date nights all the time may not be feasible. And even if they are, date nights are better if you go a little bit without them, at least for me. So once OR twice a month is a great way to keep things alive. Take turns planning as well. One month, you plan something special. Then the next month, let your partner plan it.
Throughout the month, make sure you're doing small things for your partner that are fulfilling their love languages. I am sure you know what your partner likes and a lot of the time, people forget and just do what they feel they'd like. No, do what you know THEY like. You may not like giving foot massages, but your partner may love that physical touch. Offer to do that for them every few days. Your partner may love words of affirmation. Make sure everyday you say something that you know will make them feel special. Your partner may love gifts or acts of service. Get them something they like and do the dishes or fold the laundry. You know, little things. This life is full of hardships, our relationship and home life should be your place of peace in this hard life. It takes some work, but if you make it something that is done constantly, it'll feel like second nature. Just like getting up for work every morning or eating when you're hungry.
Now what about small things to do on a daily to make sure you guys stay in tune with each other? Well, for example, if you have kids, make sure they are in bed at a reasonable time. A time that will allow you and your partner time to be up alone for a little while. So for me, when my partner and I were living together in New Orleans in 2020, we would put my at the time 4 year old down to bed by 8PM. 8PM was enough time for me and him to enjoy a nice warm cup of tea. We would drink tea together, stand outside together and talk for about 20-30 minutes. Sometimes longer depending on the conversation. Quality communication and physical touch are the two love languages that make me the happiest. Hearing my man talk to me makes me warm inside. So every night we would spend time talking together. We'd go inside and get comfy in the bed and maybe watch an episode of a show while cuddling. That was enough for me to feel validated and feel good. I felt appreciated and I felt like I was important to him because he would take time off of his video game or whatever he likes to do in his free time, and he'd spend that time with me. He loves physical touch. So when we went inside, I made sure to give him alllllll the good touches he wanted ;) Just that quality time was enough for me.
Whatever you and your partner enjoy doing together at home, do that together on a daily basis. If not daily, every few days. Taking a walk, playing a card game, having a conversation, reading together, cooking dinner together. I mean, the things you can do everyday with your partner that doesn't involve being on your phones and not paying attention to each other are endless.
During the day at work, make sure you are checking on your partner. That may seem like it's something you should already know to do, but what me and my partner do, especially now that we are not currently living together, is communicate throughout the day. "Grand Rising baby" is usually how our communication for the day starts. We say things to each other throughout the day that make each other feel special and we do that everyday. We send music to each other, funny videos, we ask each other how our days are going at work We make sure that other person knows we are interested in what they have going on. Send something sweet. Send a sexy picture sometimes. I mean, show them that you are still there and interested in them. Show them that even while you're busy at work, you're still thinking of them. I promise, these little things that you do keeps the fire going in the relationship.
Things are hard enough yall, lets make sure our relationships are staying healthy during these times while we are working our asses off to take care of the family. I love love. Love and relationships are so important to me and I love to give out small things you can do to keep it spicy and keep it happy.
What I want yall to do this week is find a new recipe, go grocery shopping and cook dinner together. Play the music that yall fell in love to. Take a walk down memory lane of all the good times. Dance in the kitchen barefoot. Have your favorite alcoholic beverage, get tipsy, and then go in the room and break the HEADBOARD. Or, ya know, the kitchen table 'cause I'm down for it all.
Love yallllll. <3 Talk to you again soon!
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Just think of me as Cupid's rival. 'Cause over here we don't just use our hearts. We combine the mind, the heart, and the soul for an epic love experience. Stay a while.