Dust off your notebooks and put your nerdy girl glasses on. It is time to take some notes. I am going to keep this post short and sweet because I expect most of yall to go hop on some shit tonight after reading if ya know what I mean.
So. We've talked about not settling for less in the bedroom and incorporating sex toys into your sex life. So, now that we've got that covered, lets get into planning a sexy and slutty weekend to put all of these things together. I love the idea of late nights in hotels with my man. It's something so scandalous and exciting about it. Take the time to plan a weekend get away with your sweetie. ;) . Get a baby sitter if need be, and book the hotel in a romantic place that you and your partner love to go or have always wanted to go. San Antonio is a very romantic city just because of the River Walk. The River Walk is extremely romantic. Beautiful restaurants, live music, lights, river boat tours, carriage rides and more. It's so gorgeous and worth a weekend getaway! Location is key, you want to make sure the place yall go has some type of romantic sentiments to it so you can feel the vibes the entire time. Make sure wherever you go, has a really nice hotel that you can snag. I'm talking a balcony, a jacuzzi tub, king sized bed, the works. A getaway is nice and all, but if your hotel don't match the sexy vibes, then what's the point? Next, make sure what you pack, holds the sexy vibes too. Make sure you pack all the sexy shit you got and get a few new pieces as well. Those heels you haven't worn in months? Pack 'em. That dress with the low cut front? Pack it. The lingerie that has the slit in between the legs? Bring it. Also make sure to pack your best smell good and some lotion that has shimmer to it so you're gleaming at all times. Thank me later. We are bringing all the sexy vibes to whatever city you run off to!! Get you a few new pieces of lingerie of different colors and styles so you can switch it up every night on the trip. We are not having any lazy and boring sex on this trip!!!! We doing all the tricks, we dressing down in lace, we doing it all do you hear me!? Along with all of your lace, make sure to pack those toys we were talking about and some caramel. IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW! Go to a sex store together in the city your getting away to if you have to. That might be a nice way to have a little fun and break the ice if you haven't used toys before. Vibrators, vibrating cock rings, hand cuffs, blind folds, flavored oral sex gel, sex dice, oils, KY tingling lubricant gel, and more! Those are just a few of the scandalous items you should pick up. Make it a fun outing for you and your partner. Next, pick up some alcohol!! Now, my favorite sexy wine right now is the Silk Red Ménage a Trois wine. That shit? Whew, major major major horn dog vibes right there let me tell you! I absolutely love it. Wine is sexy and smooth. Now, if you aren't a wine person, pick up some dark liquor. I love Honey Tennessee Whiskey or Vanilla Crown mixed with Vanilla coke. Perfect mixture!
On this trip, make sure to do what it is you need to do, to fall back in love with each other. Maybe right now you don't think anything is wrong, and there probably isn't. But, a lot of the time, our every day lives are missing key connections in our relationship. We forget to romance our partner, we forget to make them feel specially emotionally and physically. Take this time to get back to square one. Get back to the butterflies and jitters. Most of all, have fun. Don't stress about work, bills, kids, none of it. Have fun, be sexy, be slutty, and be spontaneous.
Get it in whenever, wherever, however. Especially if you won't be coming back to the city for a while. Do shit you know might get you in trouble, but don't actually get in trouble, LOL, you feel me? Like, don't have sex on the balcony, but, have sex up against the window with the curtains pulled back. Whooops, did we leave that open? ;) Make all the noise and piss the people off next door because, why not? Go down on him in that big jacuzzi tub and make him feel like the only man in the world. Let him go down on you in the shower while it's steaming hot. Whew, yes. OK. Let me get off here, and get on something else. ;)
Yall be easy now. MEET ME BACK HERE NEXT FRIDAY!!! HAVE FUN <3
Erotic Fridays *Make Sex Fun Again* Does your Partner Know What You REALLY Like? Don't Settle For Less...
I mean, come on, let's face it. Many of us have settled in the bedroom a few times or another. Depends on how many serious relationships you've had. I ain't talking about no little fling. You usually don't settle when dealing with a fling because I mean.... flings are usually just about sex and aren't forever, right? I wouldn't know. But. What I'm trying to say is when people get into relationships they settle so hard in the bedroom and that shit just ain't fair. People really be thinking that the bedroom satisfaction is not as important as the satisfaction in the entire relationship. People forget, when you first seen your spouse or first liked them... most of the time there was some type of attraction there. I bet there were sparks flying and all. Those sparks and that feeling that you get right in between your legs when you were around your spouse at first. Yeah, you know exactly what feeling what I'm talking about. All of these feelings, on top of your spouse being the amazing person they are, made you fall for them. So, why do people start being lazy in the bedroom I have no idea.
Sex should be talked about pretty early on in a relationship. You need to know what that person likes and doesn't like. Honestly. Some people downplay the type of sex they like to have and the types of things they like. Don't do that. And, it's not too late to share with your spouse your wildest fantasies. As you get older, the things you like may change. The things you want to try, may change. It is very important to keep your partner up to date with the things you want and don't want. They should be willing to try new things with you and compromise. Because, sexual pleasure is very important in relationships. So, make sure they know what you want. And they should be interested in the things you want because that means they are interested in you.
It is also important to make sure that you keep them informed about the things you don't want or even don't like anymore.
Like for me, I used to want to have a threesome with my man. People have threesomes for all sorts of reasons, but for me, it was really and mainly because I find women attractive and I wanted to enjoy another woman with my man on the side of me. I wanted to feel, powerful in a sense by pleasing another woman. Because I am a woman, and I know what I like, I would know exactly what another woman would like. That's something I used to want. I don't desire to have threesomes anymore as I've gotten older. So, that's something worth sharing with my man. Because in his mind, he could think I still want that, but I don't. Be open and honest with your partner. If you don't want it or don't like it say that. If you do want it or like it, say that. Don't lie about it.
When your partner knows what you really want, the sexual tension and the sexual pleasure is always on ten. Why? Because, you are not there simply for the pleasure of THEM, but you are there for your pleasure as well. It should bring your partner JOY to do things to you and with you that you like and find sexy. Something that I really enjoy is spontaneity and foreplay. I absolutely love not knowing when sex is going to take place. I also love foreplay. I love the workup to the actual act of sex. People tend to forget about the workup and that is one of the biggest mistakes you can make in a relationship. Not having that workup, can lead to needs not being met and desires not being fulfilled. Make sure you are on your toes when it comes to your partner. Don't settle for less in the bedroom. Be vocal. If you're missing something you need, don't wait until you feel the urge to get it from somewhere else. Tell your man! Tell your woman! It's ok to make them feel a little bit "embarrassed" by saying, check this out. You're not doing this and I would appreciate it if we could start doing that. Because if you're doing your job for them, they need to do their job for you.
So, your homework tonight is to sit and talk with your spouse and touch base on the bedroom desires. See if things have changed.
Then, get some hot oil, ice, and dim the lights. Blind fold him, put the ice in your mouth, and run it all over his body. Then, take the warm oil, and massage his entire body. Lastly, you know what to do ;) that's right!
Then, roll over and go to bed. Mess his whole world up tonight, sis. ;)
JOIN ME BACK NEXT WEEK!
Erotic Fridays *Make Sex Fun Again* | Learning Your Spouse + Incorporating Toys & Props into Your Sex Life
Welcome Welcome Welcome to Erotic Fridays. Every Friday in February we are going to be joining right here on my blog and talking about everything bedroom related. My saying is we keep it sexy, not raunchy. All the Erotic Fridays posts will be in PINK.
Let's dive right into the ocean shall we?
What does it mean to LEARN your partner? If you don't know what that means then baby, you are nottttt ready for sex. Look, let me be blunt, a lot of men and women don't take the time out to study their partner. If you aren't studying your partner in my opinion, how can you really say you love them? I'm just being real. You should know them inside, and out. Literally. There is nothing sexier than your partner knowing the curves in your body, knowing where to touch you to make your body quiver, hell, even knowing what look to give you to make you melt down to your knees. If you haven't studied your partner, get your notebooks out and dust them off. It's time to go back to school. You need to know your partner like nobody on this earth does. Once you know them like that, the power that you have is endless. I don't say power in a bad way, I say it in a very sexy and sexually pleasing way. YOU need to have the power to make them feel things nobody ever has. Watch the way they move. Watch their body language. Watch the way they readjust in their seats when you're saying something sexually pleasing to them from across the table. Watch the way their eyes surrender to you when you give them the look of seduction and pleasure just with a stare. Watch their body fall weak when you gently touch them. Learn them. Because sex is not just about the actual intercourse. There is so much that goes into it before you take it to that point. YOU AND YOUR PARTNER need to be so hot and ready when intercourse comes that you explode within minutes. Hell, sometimes seconds. Intercourse needs to be the last thing that happens. Unless it's a quickie. Quickies are fun, no doubt. But, there's nothing satisfying about a quickie being apart of your regular sex routine. I'm just saying what most women won't say. Quickies a lot of the time are merely for the pleasure of the man. Now, yall know me. I am the most un-3rd wave-feminist on this planet, if that's even a phrase. I am NOT feminist whatsoever. But, when it comes to sex? I am all about the woman. You know why? Because, most men get a lot of their sexual desires fulfilled every time they have sex. I am the type of woman that likes to take control sometimes. But, women need a lot of work most times to reach their climax unlike men. All men need to be is turned on and 95% of the time, they are going to climax. Okay, and what about us?! I can say the bedroom is where men and women can become really lazy. Let's not do that anymore. Laziness is not sexy. Now, am I saying you need to be up against the wall, getting rug burns, hanging from the ceiling? I mean, if all that is your thing, go for it! But, that isn't what I mean by not being lazy. I mean, work on your partner. Get them to that point of excited that they need to be. Send sexy texts throughout the day. Send pictures throughout the day. You don't work at home? Okayyyy hike that skirt up in the company bathroom and snap a pic. Pull the boxers to the side on your break in the car and snap a pic. I can promise you, even though they've seen it a million times, it will make them smile! Hands down! Send her some flowers randomly with a steamy note. WORK FOR YOUR PARTNER. You work for your boss right? You bust your ass for your kids right? You come running when family calls right? Oh, but your spouse they come last right? NO! They come first, especially if you're married. You need to make sure you are taking the time to make them feel special and wanted. You know she likes the room cleaned before sex? Clean the room. Light a candle while she's cooking dinner. You know he likes his feet rubbed after work and tacos on Tuesday? Do that. It be the little things. Make them feel good and get them relaxed.
Now, they're relaxed, the kids are sleep? It's time to do all those things yall was saying you was gone do when you get home while you were at work, LOL. Don't sleep on your spouse! Do what you said you was gone do.
Lets talk about the fun part, the toys. Ah, yes. Toys. Such a "dirty word" for a lot of people. Why? I don't know. Toys don't mean you're a weird super freak. Toys don't mean your man isn't doing his job. Toys make things fun. It's no secret that it takes a lot more work for women to reach their climax than it does for men. It's no secret and it's okay. But, with knowing that, we deserve that work to be put in. And even if the work is being put in without the toys, toys spice it up. One of the best things you can grab are "shaft" rings. I'm going to say shaft just for the hell of it LOL. No, but foreal. Shaft rings are awesome and you can get the vibrating ones. The vibrating rings can almost guarantee a climax out of her/you. Use props too if you don't already.
Blind fold him, drip him in caramel, and devour your favorite snack. Don't be afraid to let him tie you up, encourage it! Ask for it! Tell him, baby, take this, tie my hands, and don't untie it, even if I beg. LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Be vocal. Be likeeeeee, dadddddy!!!! Get the vibrator and oil, let's have fun. Tell him where you want it, how you want it. Life too short to be having boring sex. Tell her to get the caramel and strawberries. You HAVE to know, that when you're open and having fun, it really helps you and your partner reconnect. There's nothing more beautiful than a couple who desires each other and has fun inside and outside the bedroom. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using toys, studying your partner, sending sexy texts from the workplace, and trying new things. Tonight, try something new. If you don't have toys/like toys, that's cool. Tonight, do away with the 10 min missionary or reverse cowgirl and the roll over and go to bed routine. Get a few candles. Surprise your partner with a massage. Turn on some slow jams. I know 8/10 of you are not doing none of that right now. Or used to, and stopped. Lets literally get back up on the saddle and switch shit up. Try that caramel thing. It's messy, sticky, trust me, but, it will lead to a steamy shower together so it's worth it ;).
Join me back next Friday for more, we just barely scratched the surface.
Linked below are a few things I thought would be fun to read as well.
Just think of me as Cupid's rival. 'Cause over here we don't just use our hearts. We combine the mind, the heart, and the soul for an epic love experience. Stay a while.